What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
I was gonna tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
An orphan's first word would be "orphan keeper."
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Why wasn't the infant's entire body found?
Because the limbs are scattered around 43°17.7355’N, 113°58.4205’W.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the ground.
What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?
An erection.
What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?
AIDS.
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
