Infant jokes
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
I make baby mush.
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how many you throw.
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender? Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
Poop poop poop poop poop poop pp ppppppppppppoppppppppppooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppoooooopppp children pooooooooooooooooop in diapers.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet? Beets stain your teeth.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby? The baby is still alive.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl? A blender. What's the best way to get them out? A blender.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.