What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?
A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.
what do u call a Chinese baby? sum ting Wong
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What's worse than five babies stapled to one tree?
One baby stapled to five trees.
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?
My dick.
My mom asked my doctor, "Why is my unvaccinated baby crying?"
The doctor replied, "He's going through a midlife crisis."
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
"Stupid ass baby."
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? A bowling ball doesnt cry when you put your fingers in it.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
I was going to tell a dead baby joke. but I decided Abort
