Impact jokes

I got hit with a can of soda.

It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.

What do Princess Diana and the Beatles have in common?

They both made quite an impact in Europe.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

Why should China be a baseball team?

Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

Zion is so big, when he walks it's an earthquake.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

I C U P works on 88% of people.

I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.

Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.

Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger before my eyes.

Then it hit me.