Impact jokes
I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
People are like trees...
They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What was the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
Any Ga'Hoole fans? No?
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
Why should China be a baseball team?
Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!
Yo mama so fat that when she pooped, poop exploded everywhere!
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️