Impact jokes

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I C U P works on 88% of people.

Yo mama so fat...

That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!

What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?

A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.

A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.

Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.

You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.

Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.

I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.

If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?

The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.

Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.