Im jokes

I'm pretty sure that "MOI MOI" means "ME! ME!" does it?

I'm the autism.

I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.

I'm autistic.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family portrait........

You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?

Wait..........

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.

Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!

I'm a joke supremacist.

I'm great!! I'm good. I'm doing good hahaha. I mean "well" haha! Haha I'm doing well, not good! Haha I'm not doing good! I'm not doing so good.

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!

Comment if I'm ugly.

I'm sorry my jokes are so bad.

*having sex on lexapro*

Her: Cum for me, baby!

Me: I'm trying!

I'm Jessica, and I really want to talk to Ashton Parkes.

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

Mickey: I want a divorce!

Minney: Are you fricking crazy?

Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!

I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today.

A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.”

I said, “Well, which one are you then?”

I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.