Im jokes

I'm still wondering who took Jesus' sandals.

Even the one who ate that dove that sat at Jesus' shoulder. 🤔

Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.

British emo people be like, "Oi, I'm upset."

Hi, I’m Joe.

I'm so poor that they let me buy the entire store! For $0...

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol, and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these. He replies with, "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

Follow me.

I heard a noise, so I'm dead.

My dog died. I'm so sad.

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

The joke I'm telling is my brother, Joey.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"

I tell my therapist I’m scared of the 3rd, 9th, and 15th letter of the alphabet.

Doctor: Oh, I see.

Me: Ahhhh!!!!!

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!