If jokes

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Me to friend: I'm homeschooled.

Friend: If I was homeschooled, I'd kms.

Me: Oh, I already tried that.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.

Oh wait...

If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?

Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.

If I were a cat, I'd spend all nine of my lives with you.

So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?

Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?

Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

One if you throw it hard enough.

A man was almost about to drown. A boat said, "Do you need help?" And he said no.

After the boat left, another boat came to the sea, and they asked if he needed help, and he said no.

And he asked God, "Why didn't you help me?"

God said, "I sent you two big boats, you dummy!"

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

Why are there no women in the NFL?

Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?

If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?

"Wow... That ship is beautiful! I wonder what will happen if I ram into it..." - Iceberg, 1912.

Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.