If jokes
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.
I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
If Germany is the father land, and Russia is the mother land, would WWII just be domestic violence?
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.