If jokes
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but he couldn’t stand up?
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?
Special Forces.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
So if you are bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.