If jokes

If the hairdresser is healthy, the cat is happy. *purr*.

On the other hand, if the hairdresser is sick, the cat is happy too. *purrs on the bed*

If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?

Non-profit wh*reganisation.

Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?

Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.

So if you are bored, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄

Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.

Son: Why, Dad?

Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.

Bestfriend @3am: I love you.

Me: Love you too.

*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*

I don't know if this is funny.

If you’re ever bored, then go outside and punch an orphan. Who are they going to tell, their parents?

Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?

Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.

Dude,

if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?

You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?

What is it called if you give 100 disabled people guns?

Special Forces.

If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?