If jokes

If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?

Jill went up to a bar to play a game of pool. Then Jack came in and asked Jill if she wanted to ride in his new car. She said, "I have to think." Then Jack said, "At least let me buy you a drink." After 5 drinks, he asked again. This time she said yes, so they got in the car and Jack and Jill rode up a hill to Jack's home. Then Jack said, "Close your eyes, I got a surprise!" So Jack lead Jill to his room then said, "Open your eyes!" So Jill opened her eyes, then Jack got them some red wine. Jack got drunk and unzipped his fly and Jack said, "I know you wanna." She said, "No way!" So Jack gave her one more drink, then she passed out. Then Jack ripped all his clothes off. Then he did the same to Jill. Then he did it till 3am.

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

If you read this, you fucked your dad and your 4-year-old sister, you sick fuck... At least wait till they are 15.

What would good be if it was a place?

It would be a desert because it had too many droughts!

Anyone who makes orphan jokes... STOP! It's rude and not even funny. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THIS SITE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE RUDE!

In Mario, it is called a Zoomba, but if it was real, it would be a boomba.

Jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed, but at 97 I died...

I think Jesus is broken.

Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.

What do you call the most fucking racist and obnoxious country in the fucking entire fucking omniverse? NORTH AMERICA!

And if you disagree just 'cus you're American, I don't give a fuck, you low life cunts. Plus, if you don't think you're racist, um, hello people? Motherfucking George Floyd!

If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?

I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.

If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.

If you ever thought you were gay, remember that cockroaches exist.

How do you know if a rapper's broke?

When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.

Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?

Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.

Me: Oh, okay.

Goes to school.

Teacher: How were humans made?

Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.

Teacher: 😑

If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, why is 10 scared?

(10 is in between 9/11)

If being sexy was a crime, you can call me......... a law-abiding citizen.

If you think I sound sexy, just reply "sexy."

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.