If jokes
I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.
You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?
Comment anything if you like what you saw with Gwen in her bra!
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.
So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
Frère l'été ici!
If you understand, put it in chat.
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Once Jimmy was minding his own business, then he hears his mom come home. He asked, "Where have you been?" She replied with, "I was at work," yet he knew his mom did not have work. So the next day, while heading to school, he gets a phone call saying his mom is pregnant, and they want to try their device, and they need the baby's dad to say if it's alright.
Mom: Son, did you go to school?
Son: What if I said yes?
Mom: You are in school! *slap*
Son: Mom, I am moving out and I am moving in with my girlfriend.
Mom: You are with...? Please don't move out =(
Son: Mom, stop! So what if I am moving out? I am moving into my girlfriend's home. It's only for school.
Mom: Well, you are kicked out of my home!
Son: Good.
Mom: I am sad now. Why did he move out?
If you like it, please commit down.