If jokes

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed."

The engineer said, "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong."

The programmer said, "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"

How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?

It has an extra crumb-osome.

If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?

What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?

He would be robin.

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you.

What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?

A pool table.