If jokes

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

What am I if my neck is covered in red bumps, my ears are the size of a giant corn cob, my skin is ruby red, my eyes are bloodshot, I have green skin, and fur growing all over my body? Horribly ugly.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"

What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don’t care if she has one.

If a computer was an apartment, the only passage would be the windows.

It would have had doors, but why was it ever spelt DOS?

People complain we are overpopulated.

Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!

If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.

If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"