If jokes

Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:

Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

If Satan is the devil, he's pretty sus.

Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.

If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?

"I was raped raped."

If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.

If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.