Idiom jokes
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
Steve Jobs would've been a better president than Trump...
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
"Orange you glad I made it?"
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"