What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Walnut. Walnut who? I walnut tell you. It’s a secret.
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
"Killed two birds with one stone"? Pfft, I once killed two people with one bullet.
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What did the booty say when it was asked to help?
"I've got your backside covered!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Madam.
Madam who?
Madam foot got caught in the door, can you please open it!
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
I may not be the brightest candle on the cake, but you can still blow me.
