Idiom jokes
Why did Jimmy throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Bitches be like, "Read the room."
What genre is that in?
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
False.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.
Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.
Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.
Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.
What happens when you have dry elbows at work?
You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
Once I took a test on waving signal flags.
They said I passed with flying colors.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast.
"Orange you glad I made it?"
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.