Identifier jokes
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?
She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"
To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
I identify as kilometers per second because I want to km/s.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
Ur hairline is like a Fortnite map at the start of a new season waiting to be identified.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
I identify as the Titanic, because I'm a wreck.
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police say the suspect is armed and on the run.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?
Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...
Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."
How do you get away with rape? Identify as transgender. Women can never be accused of rape, obviously
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
How did the villagers identify the masked rapist?
He was the only one in the village who believed the victim.
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.