Ice Cream jokes
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What did the snowman ⛄️ eat after dinner?
Ice cream 🍨.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?