Hygiene jokes
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
ISIS recently brought out their own shampoo: HEAD AND SOLDIERS.
Y'all smell like ass!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
A good bath is like a dead lover. You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
tru tho
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
Why did the priest invent baptism?
To wash their sex toys.
Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Who do you ask to wipe you? Your butler!
Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?
Me: 'Cause God made you.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
Yo mama so fat, she uses a mattress as a diaper.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."