You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Have you ever tried anal bleaching?
It really helps assholes lighten up.
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
What does the word circumcise mean?
Cut off a boy's or a man's dick, or cut off a girl's or a woman's foreskin.
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.
"Look, Ma! I peed in the pool!"
My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
