Hygiene Jokes

I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!

How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!

Kid: Licks money.

Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.

Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?

So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

Here is a funny little prank I did on my sister. So she was in her room when she reached to get her shampoo, cause you know girls and hair, when she went to squeeze it out, it came out oil, toothpaste, chicken breast, barf, and onions! SHE PUT IT IN HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GROSS BUT FUNNY!

When she got to school she heard kids laughing at her cause the prankster did it again!

Later!

DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS

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Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in the crack.

If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀

What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?

Shampoo.

Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣

Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.

What do feminists and tampons have in common?

They're both stuck-up cunts.

What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?

You got off clean.

A good bath is like a dead lover.

You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.

Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.

Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.

Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.

Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

What did the toilet say to the other toilet?

"You look flushed."

Why did an Indian cross the road?

To take a shit.

I see how it is y’all be buying toilet paper, stocking up from the Coronavirus, but where on the symptoms does it say diarrhea? Lol, why y’all be buying toilet paper, now I am just confused.