Hygiene jokes
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't want to get stuck in any more cracks!
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
What was Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders.
My dick itches.