Humor

I am dark humor.

What Did Iran Say To Oman?

"Oh man, I ran out of ideas!"

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

Mom told me drugs are my enemies.

Jesus said to like your enemies.

Yay, I can like drugs then!

I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...

Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.

What did the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

"Beat it. We're closed."

My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.

She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"

Do you know what the secret is to have a smoking, hot body as a senior citizen?

Cremation.

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.

Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.