Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.
Humor
My dick was in the book of world records.
But then the librarian asked me to take it out.
Roses are red, violets are bl-- oh yeah, I'm bad at jokes.
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
If a bike is also called a bicycle, then what is a test also called?
A tEsTiClE!
I don't have a joke, it's just funny reading them.
POV: I made a blind joke.
"That isn't funny. What if Helen Keller saw that?"
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Autistic jokes have been very popular recently. In other words, I've been very popular recently.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
It's not a joke.
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
