Humor
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
What do the initials BIBLE stand for?
"Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence."
I’m not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, they’re very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, they’re jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DON’T YOU DARE!😠😠
Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.
Random person: What stuff? 🤨
Me: What?
The person: You said you’re going to pick up “the stuff”!!! What do you mean by that?!
Me: Colourful flamingo fart.
More random keyboard words made into sentences:
This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
Your hairline is so far, too far, even dark humored jokes are scared of it.
Why can't poor people write jokes?
Because they make no cents.
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Your mum is so bad at cooking, Gordon Ramsey brought back Hitler to show her how to use an oven.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
What do you call an autistic kid with a rocket ship? A cocker.
Yo mama so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Why can't blind people eat crawfish? Because it's seafood!
These jokes are so dark they almost stole my bike.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Farts.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.