Humor

I gave up hope and I liked it!!

I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})

What do you call an Asian receptionist?

Tai Ping.

What is a Russian joke?

Something that will be funny for Russian people.

Butt Morice - ( i ) ( - )@( - ) \ \ [] \ \ ( _ ) [] ( _ ) []

If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."

Rich person: "Then buy a house!"

My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.

He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"

I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.

There was a crying pandemic going around.

You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.

What's an Asian orphan's surname? No Pham.

Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!

The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.

Orange you glad to see me?

How do you properly eat a vegetable?

You tip over the wheelchair.

Why are girls and rocks so alike?

If they're flat, they get skipped.

If Trump pooped in a toilet, the toilet would die.

What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?

A walkie-Torquay.