This video is its own joke. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0
Humor
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing, then his friend calls and he is groaning. He said he was having cramps, so the husband tells the doctor, "Doc, turn it up to 40%!" So he does, and his friend throws up, so he said, "Doc, turn it up to 100%!" and his friend dies.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
Imposter: Did you do Sawcon task?
Crewmate: What's Sawcon?
Imposter: Sawcon deez nuts!
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
Line (DYM 105)
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.
It must not be a good suicide story if you can tell it.
Why do y’all do this?
Because you're lonely.
My fucking life, cya.
I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣
"Knock knock."
"Why are you knocking on a wall? You're in the Twin Towers and they're going down!"
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
