Humor
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What is it called when an art teacher has a heart attack?
An art attack!
What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?
Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
What do computer programming and 9/11 have in common?
They're both inside jobs.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
69, 420, 21.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.
Giggity! (DYM 142)
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
it's not rape if we're both screaming
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
Why did Johnny drop his pencil?
To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
I won't reply to every joke today because I want to say thanks to everyone for making funny jokes here. Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes. It makes me happy and it's making me less anxious. I am really stressed with my school work and everything; I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertains me and makes me laugh so hard.
I apologize for my grammar.