Humor
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
Russia—the real joke.
Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
Imagine getting rickrolled. Oh, I forgot, you already got rickrolled yesterday.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Why are dead baby jokes always funny?
They never get old.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
Why did the joke cross the street?
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
Bisexuals aren’t gay.
Bisexuals aren’t straight.
They’re graight! 😂
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?