Humor
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?
Raisin kids!
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
What is an egg joke?
Egg-xcellent question!
Hey, Squidward, say "kid" backward. Also, suck my dick!
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."
What is big, round, and gassy? Uranus.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.
Russia—the real joke.
Jo Mama is so dumb, she tried to eat the Super Bowl.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
You know why morning food digests so quickly.
Because it breaks fast.
Imagine getting rickrolled. Oh, I forgot, you already got rickrolled yesterday.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
Why are dead baby jokes always funny?
They never get old.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand-up comedy!
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
Why did the joke cross the street?
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"