Ninja

  • This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

    Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

    Ligma

  • Me: Hey, are you going to Sawcon?

    Sensei: What is that?

    Me: Saw con deez nu...

    Sensei: Oh, is it for people with ligma?

    Me: What’s ligm...

    Sensei: 😈

    Me: no no no no

    Sensei: Ligma ba...

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  • Bear

  • Little Brown Bear (LBB): Why did Santa take the kitty and all of my toys, Mummy?

    His mom: Maybe because you're the second most massive shit stain besides Caillou.

    *Krampus comes down the chimney to eat LBB*

    Krampus: Should’ve been better, Little Bear.

    LBB: Help, Mummy! He’s the Scratchy monster!

    Shrek: Just kidding, it’s not Krampus, but indeed me and Black Donkey instead, and we’re going to poop on your floor.

    Duggie: Hopefully Marvin doesn’t see us, and by the way, want some purplish Kool-Aid?

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  • Wife

  • My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

    Chicken

  • Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?

    'Cause they were using fowl language!