Humor
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.
An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
What do suicidal people do in their spare time?
Hang out.
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Please End My Depression And Suffering.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.