Humans jokes

Earth

    • What is the difference between human rights and the Earth?

    The Earth has been to be between two games a year after school, a time and fun game that has.

    Body

    • If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

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    • Head

    • How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

    Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

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    • Humans memes

    School

    • Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?😒 You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...

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    • Word

    • In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.

    For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.

    Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.

    For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?

    Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.

    Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.

    For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.

    So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.

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    • Chicken

    • What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

    "It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

    Batman

    • If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

    "He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

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    • Dog

    • Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.

    The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.

    Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.

    On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.

    This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!

    Bee

    • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

    Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

    The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

    Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

    - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!

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    • House

    • What is the difference between a human and a magic house!?

    A magic house 🏡 can fly, and a human can walk.

    Mosquito

    • God creates a mosquito :)

    God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

    Angel: okay... a bug.

    God: now give it’s face a sword, but it has a hole so it’s basically a mouth.

    Angel: weird... but okay...

    God: and give it wings.

    Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

    God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

    Angel: *shook* o-okay

    God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

    Angel: .-.

    God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give ‘em a taste ‘o that! *evil grin*

    Angel: *cries*

    Angel: *whispers; I’m so sorry..*

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