What's the difference between humans and trash cans? One's actually useful
What happens when a computer thinks it knows better than a human? Ask Boeing.
How do you create the worlds quickest human pyramid?
Turn on the gaschamber.
What do squirrels and men have in common? They always want a nut.
technically, a human is hollow. we have an empty tube through us from the mouth and nose to the asshole and dick or pussy. we are bascially tubes
So a women was paranoid so she had a dog to check to see if anything was wrong. She would always stick her hand under the bed and if the dog licked her hand then she was safe.One night just before bed she stuck her hand under the bed. She felt a lick so she went to bed. She in the middle of the night needed to go to the bathroom. So she walked into the bathroom and on the window it said: HUMANS CAN LICK TOO! Then she was murdered.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have? A hambone.
Sans:Zzzzzzzz Papyrus:SANS WAKE UP!! Sans:What is it dude? Papyrus:A human has fallen from the surface world! Sans:And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em?? Papyrus:Grrrrr.... Sans:Oh come on that was a real RIBTICKLER.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do humans and monkeys have in common... they both hang from trees
Sans:Zzzzzzzz Papyrus:SANS WAKE UP!! Sans:What is it dude? Papyrus:A human has fallen from the surface world! Sans:And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
Here are a few:
While I was out shopping i tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me, for fun I said "Sorry! It's been awhile since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Dads are like boomerangs. . . I hope!
Son: Dad why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.
You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.
Chuck Norris lit a campfire and humans saw the sun for the first time.
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
according to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly, it wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible, Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black
