Hows jokes

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?

They have a dot in the middle of the head.

How do you anger a democrat?

Don't tell him the truth.

How to not exist: Kys.

How are orphans like broken pencils?

Neither of them have points.

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

How do you know if an Asian is a failure?

Figure it out, because they'll all tell you their parents said they were a failure from birth.

My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.

Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.

She lets him play anyway and I don't.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.

How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"

Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?

A: All the rice is gone.

Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!

Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic, where yesterday's meat is today's treat. How may I be of service?

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!

How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?

You get a good connection.

I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.

How do you get a baby out of a blender?

With Doritos!

How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?

He starts to quiver! ;)