Hows jokes
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
Do you guys know how to make a hoe in Minecraft?
You pick it up off the street.
How do orphans have a family reunion?
They use a Ouija board.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
What does a shark smoke? Sea-weed.
How do whales breathe underwater? They take a deep meth.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
Hi Gwen, how is life!
A. Bad, lame, and suckish.
B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!
C. Perfect!
I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
How do you affirm a trans woman's gender?
By kicking him hard in the balls.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
I like my men how I like my coffee...
WITHOUT A FUCKING VAGINA!
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)