Hows jokes
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
How many foster parents does each orphan have?
One half.
How do you call a very long terrorist?
9/11.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
How did Caillou quit his party?
He had to cancel it.
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
How many prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just put the light bulb up their pussy and ask you to pay.
How many white police officers does it take to push an African-American gentleman down the stairs?
Push?! He fell...
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.