Hows jokes
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet... What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
How can you tell what kind of emo you are?
By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
How do tourists feed their kids?
Here comes the airplane, here comes the second one.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
How does Daveon like his coffee? Decaf-eon.
I was 11 or 12 at the time.
Guy (passing me): "How are you doing?" Me, an autist: "Pretty bad honestly." Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...
If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.
How does a computer spell "Autocorrect"?