Hows jokes
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
101 pedo jokes.
Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?
Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.
Keep it going on lol.
Why did the rapper smoke dope?
To learn how to drop some DOPE beats!
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain? He could feel it in his bones!
How can you tell your best friend is gay?
His meat tastes like shit.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
How do blondes play real-life Jenga?
By stacking humans.