Hows jokes
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, aren’t we?"
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?
Telephone? No.
Television? No.
How then? Tell a woman!
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
How much is McDonald's on a hot day?
Trump cut the company's advertising spending on Spotcom by 25%.
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but how they got in there's the real mystery!
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
How to write a joke?
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
How do rappers freshen their breath?
With COOL YO mints!
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
There are 4 people on an airplane, and the pilot has a heart attack and dies. The plane is going down, and there are also only 3 parachutes. So the guy who knows how to cure cancer says, "I’m jumping. I can save many lives." Then the 46th president, Joe Biden, says, "I’m taking the 2nd one." So there is only one left. Donald Trump says to the 7-year-old girl, "I have lived a long life. You can take the next one." So the little girl says, "That’s ok; the 46th president took my backpack." Lol.