How did helen kellers parents punish her?
By rearranging the furniture
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement .
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
How do you get Carrie Underwood to dehydrate fast?
Tell her that all the water supplies contain the COVID vaccine.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
how do you suprise a blind guy. leave the plunger in the toilet
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Teacher: Describe a penguin
Student: Black, White, Beak
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
how does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbians bed? None, it's all tongue and groove...
Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy
How to tell your kid he's adopted: Son, I'm a virgin.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
