Hows Jokes

Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.

Someone glued my deck of cards together. I don't know how to deal with it.

I conducted a survey. I asked 100 woman what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said how the fuck did you get in here? 😂😂😂

A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?

How did they know that princess Diana had dandraff? , They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...

How do trees get online? -- They just log in.

How does Moses prepare his tea? -- Hebrews it.

How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.

Person 1: you are the dumbest person in the class. Person 2: well ur the second. Person 2: maybe but at least im not the dummest. Person 2: i know how to fix that! ... Next day person commits sucide...

A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.

My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. -- She was eaten by a giant crab.

How many screws does it take to construct a lesbians bed? None, it's all tongue and groove...

I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement .

How to tell if your depressed? You came to a website called worst jokes ever . com looking for a quick smile.

How did helen kellers parents punish her?

By rearranging the furniture

Crush: "How much do you love me?"

Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."

Crush: "But it's morning."

Me: "Exactly."

How is a woman like a condom?

Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

When I was little I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike, I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead i just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.