Hows jokes

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A: How do you breathe through that little thing?

A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.

How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?

You tell them it's a leap of faith.

Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.

Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.

Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

How 9/11 Happened!:

Hey Bush, Truth or dare?

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?

How much did the haulla-cost?

How do emos propose?

"Would you like to join my family tree?"

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"

A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.

My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.