Hows jokes
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for being black.
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
I think
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Teacher: What does the pig give us? Student: Bacon.
Teacher: Very good. How about the chicken? Student: Meat.
Teacher: Good, now what would a fat cow give you? Student: Homework.
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently, "in HD" wasn't a good answer.
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.