Howe jokes
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
Memes
FOR REAL
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
How do you circumcise a redneck?
Kick his sister in the chin.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
Donald Trump secretly admires Joe Biden. How do I know?
He attempts to imitate "Sleepy Joe" by falling asleep during his court cases and during part of the Republican National Convention!
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
How can toilet paper decorate your house?
Shit sticks everywhere.
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked me how stars die. I said, "Usually from an overdose."
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?