How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4....if you turn it upside down
How can toilet paper decorate your house
Shit sticks everywhere
A nucleus walked into a bar, he asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset.
The wife asked "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
I started a new job. My boss said "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky". I said "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick".
She said "how do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied "you just ask nicely
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
"How would you describe yourself in three words?" "Lazy!"
Someone: PLEASE EAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE *Me tryna remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because ive already googled it and given up because it takes too long* Me: Na yeah I still have 19 days left
Whats the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?
Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital? Throw a strob light in the epileptic ward
You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long You wait to smash, for me and my girlfriend it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday Depends how hard they blow out the candles
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
How do you describe a redhead with bad teeth? Gingervitus
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
How does the zebra cross the road . The zebra crossing
How much work does a skeleton get done? A SKELE-TON
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the twin towers.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable Other man: How do you know that? Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth* Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
