Q:how can you tell if a vampire is sick
A:By how much hes coffin
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
My son, who is into astronomy, asked my how stars die i said usually from a overdose
how did Aby get away from mr. ryan in iran. he ran
Two Indians are walking beside a river...
One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.
"The White Man was here."
"How can you tell?"
"We're speaking English, arenβt we."
I think itβs dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, that's a hardware problem.
The reason why Trailer Park Boys is set in Nova Scotia and not Alabama is because if it was set in Alabama, then they would have to record every instance of incest. And the show's writers would need to know how to cram all of it in one season.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad? You turn off the WiFi router
How do you tell if someone is depressed? The brains on the wall
How do you circumsice a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the jaw.
How to get a girl in three steps: Step 1: grab a pillow Step 2: grab a blanket Step 3: keep dreaming
Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can't Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn't there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Race car backwards is race car but if you turn race car sideways thatβs how Paul walker go sent to gods inbox
people say that they can read people's faces;then how come nobody sees me breaking inside?
How do you organise a space themed birthday party?
You planet
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying
"Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer...?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
How do you make a Suicidal guy go bungie jumping?
Tie the bungie cord around his neck.
