How do you get my neighbor out of their tree? You untie the rope.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. ̈You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you? ̈ The Cuban simply says, ̈See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap. ̈ The other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Oh, OK. ̈
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. ̈You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you? ̈ The Russian simply states, ̈See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap. ̈ Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, ̈Ah, yes! Of course. ̈
The American scratches his head and goes, ̈I think I see the pattern here. ̈ So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window! ̈
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all Beat the room for being black.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
How do you circumcise a hill billy....... Kick his sister in the jaw
Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof?
A. Depends how thin you slice them.
How many times can 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed
Sing raindrops keep falling on my head
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
How to kill a blind person. Give them a gun and tell them its a hairdryer.
How many Karen's does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness
How do you know when Helen Keller is home? Answer; When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten-tickles.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None they just arrest the lightbulb for being broke and beat the room for being black
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
( just a joke) my grandfather was involved in 9/11 😞. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27 Bc my basements still dark...
