How To

How To jokes

Girlfriend

It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.

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  • Question

    Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

    Orphan

    How to cure boredom:

    If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    Orphan

    How come orphans know how to do laundry?

    Cause that's usually the mom's job.

    Twin Towers

    What did the plane say to the twin towers?

    "Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)

    Fun

    How to know something won’t be fun:

    Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

    Wordplay

    How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

    Furniture

    What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

    Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

    Stroke

    My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

    Parrot

    I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆

    Word

    A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

    The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

    Horse

    You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

    Racism

    Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

    Rapper

    Why was the rapper always calm during a storm?

    Because he knew how to RIDE THE FLOW.

    Rapper

    Why was the rapper so good at math?

    Because he knew how to count his bars!