How To jokes
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
How to make holy water:
1. Grab a pot.
2. Put water in it.
3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.
4. Boil the hell out of it.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.
Memes
Relatable
How to turn on an Indian: push the red button.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
Why was the rapper always calm during a storm?
Because he knew how to RIDE THE FLOW.
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he knew how to cook up FRESH BEETS!
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he knew how to count his bars!
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.