How To jokes
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Chuck Norris trained Dude Perfect how to do it.
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
Memes
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
How to know something won’t be fun:
Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.
Why was the rapper always calm during a storm?
Because he knew how to RIDE THE FLOW.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he knew how to count his bars!