A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Patient: where are you taking me, doctor? Doctor: the morgue Patient: hang on! I'm not dead yet! Doctor: and we're not there yet!
When you were born, you were so ugly, that the doctors slapped your parents. 👏🏻
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
You’re forehead so big when you were being born the doctors thought you had no face
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital because they don’t get homesick
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Yo so small that wen you go the doctor he doesn’t no you there
Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive"
A Doctor walks into his office and look his paitent in the eyes "Sir you have to stop Jerking off." The Man ask "Why?" The Doctor then says "Because im trying to examin you."
Fella walks past a mental hospital, there all out in the garden behind this big fence . All SHOUTING 13 13 13 13. Ect Over and over again ..
This fella is intrigued sees a little hole in the fence Looks through it .. GETS FUCKING POKED STRAIGHT IN THE EYE ..
Then they all start singing
14 14 14 14 14 14 ;)
Am i the only one here that actually tried to kill my self 15 times and failed every and landed up in the hospital every time
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said i cant treat you, the boy asked why, and the doctor said because im a family doctor.
What did the bird to the hospital for? For tweetment!
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer
Why's it painful to have your attorney with you in the hospital?
The damages are severe
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen. I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her! Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
when you were born your mom said you were out of bounds so you went flying out of the hospital
