Bank owner:if you want to start a bank account, I need ur name. Guy:Robin Bank owner: ur last name? Guy:Debank Bank owner: Robin Debank? Guy: put your hands up and give me all the money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
friend: hits head* others: how many fingers am i holding up? me: to friend* how suicidal am i on a scale from one to ten? friend: ten me: hes fine guys
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her p*ssy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do youโ HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!
A Roman walks into a bar
He holds up two fingers and says "give me five beers."
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
Guy: "can I tell you a joke?" Spiderman: "yes" Guy: "you only have 11 months on your calendar" Spiderman: "why" Guy: holds up knife* "because I murdered May"
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 and 976 numbers, he doesn't get charged, he holds up the phone and money falls out.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
my mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
Mom:son get up for school Son:I AM UP *holds up books and says im up* IM UP MOM
director: hi. we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie. actor: really? what do I do? director: you will play the part of the cliff (holds up hanging rope)
will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today! beverly: Yeah, I bet heโd love that! will: Yey! beverly: What should we bring him? will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* come in the bucket!
That shit was trash. You cant handle me. Hold up. Aint you nathaniel B??
I prank called someone and I said is there a miss is wall there they said no they is there a Mr wall there they said no is there any Walls there they said no then what's holding up your billding
is mrs wall here.No.Is mr wall here.No.Than what is holding up the walls
Why was the belt placed under arrest? For holding up a pair of pants. ๐คฃ
