John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
History Jokes
Yesterday I had a party.
I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.
I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.
Wanna know the last words of the south tower?
"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.
Best pilot of Southern Arabia
Allahu Akbar.
What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?
The slash and burn tactic.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?
Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was a pilot.
Your hairline goes further back, even further back than the Precambrian Time.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?
Because unlike the Twin Towers, it can dodge!
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?
It has better reactions than the Twin Towers.
Are you the Twin Towers? Because I'd smash.
