History

History jokes

Role

John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."

Fiancee: "Break a leg!"

Kid

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

War

*World War 2 going on and then stops.*

Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."

Mama

Yo mama's so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Grandpa

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

Tower

Wanna know the last words of the south tower?

"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"

Dad

Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.

Best pilot of Southern Arabia

Allahu Akbar.

Difference

What’s the difference between God and Hitler?

God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.

Slave Owner

What did one slave owner say to the other slave owner when he couldn’t find his slave?

Don’t worry, I’ll rope him in.

Tower

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.

Tower

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning?

Because unlike the Twin Towers, it can dodge!

Pilot

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.