History jokes

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.

Ready when you are, KK.

You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?

What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.

JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.

Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?

Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".

Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.

My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?

The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.

That is just plain wrong.

What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?

"Jenga!"

Your hairline goes as far back as the cavemen. Your forehead is also as deep as the cave.

What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?

Slaves.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?

Stab it twenty-three times.

Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.