History jokes

I'm so proud of my Grandpa. He killed Hitler himself.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.

What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

what's the difference between hitler and you?

one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

What do you need in order to crash a train?

A bad track record.

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.

Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?

A: One got to finish a race.

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

If I die, delete my search history.

We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.

What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.

Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.

If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.