History jokes

What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

what's the difference between hitler and you?

one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.

Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?

Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the last one who had a dream was shot.

Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

What do you need in order to crash a train?

A bad track record.

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

If I die, delete my search history.

We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.

Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?

A: One got to finish a race.

What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.

When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.

Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.

If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.