History jokes
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
What did Columbus use to cross the ocean?
He used a bus.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
When you're going to Titanic: It's the best ship in the world.
When you know it's sinking: It's the poor ship!
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
Bus driver: Please give your seat to the white person.
Rosa Parks: Ok.
Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
Why did the Titanic sink? It loved the iceberg!
When I was on the Titanic, I got broken.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.