History jokes
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?
JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.
Guys, don’t put the Holocaust books in the fiction section, it was the worst mistake of my life!
(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?
You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.
Twin Towers? No plane, plane targets.
I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.
Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Teacher: Describe Ukraine history in 3 words?
Student: Ukraine is history!
(1968) - Hellen Keller died, didn’t you hear?
No?
Well neither did she.
Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.
Helen Keller def faked it.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.