History jokes
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
Memes
Holocaust Jokes
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
Watching the 9/11 documentaries, just watching a kill cam.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
How do you cut ancient Rome in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.