History jokes
What did the Titanic say to the people as it went down?
"I now nominate you to the ice bucket challenge!"
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
Who are the fastest readers of mankind?
The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap? Cuz they are all dead.
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Our hairline goes way back before dinosaurs lived.
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo inside you?
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
You're so ugly that you made Hitler commit suicide.
September 11th is the superior birthday because no one forgets it. #flexingonyoubitches ;)
Why is America bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
Your hairline goes back to the first century.
There’s only one answer to who would win, 1996 Bulls or 2017 Warriors...
...Steve Kerr’s team.
Hippity hoppity, women are property.
Watching the 9/11 documentaries is just watching a kill cam.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
What do you call a man who loves Adidas and Puma and drives a Volkswagen? Potential Nazi.