History jokes
When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
Why do I support slavery?
Because I’m white.
I told AI to talk dirty to me. It started describing my browser history.
Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like:
Jackson: "CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION??"
My mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she received it from her cousin. ( ╹▽╹ )
Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed by the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile. (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.