History jokes
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
Your hairline's so far back even Rosa Parks refused to sit there.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
Why do Japanese people hate Christmas?
Because the last time a "FatMan" went down their chimney they lost half of their population.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
What did the Twin Towers' mom say when she fed them? "Open wide honey, here comes the airplane."
What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.
Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.
What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.
What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).
You travel to the past into the era where Julius Caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die?"
You reply with: "Surrounded by friends."
What do bicycles and slaves have in common? They both use chains to work.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What were the terrorist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it, we'll have to go through it.
I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.
He sure was a popular guy. Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.
Watching the 9/11 documentaries, just watching a kill cam.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?