History Jokes

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

If I die delete my search history

If I was a history teacher I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them

My grandpa was amazing. He killed hitler

What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?

At least Hitler actually did something

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.

Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do? A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!

What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk? -- In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

What first went through sally's mind when the Nazis came? - a bullet

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest. Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

what was the last thing to go through Jfk's mind? A Bullet

Apparently describing the beautiful city of Hiroshima as "The bomb" is not okay.

What is Hitlers favorite book. Hitler and the chamber of secrets

Kid:Hey what’s black and sneaky! Social studies teacher:Harriet Tubman

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie. It’ll be fun.” “Ok,” the mom and son reply happily. “Let me start,” says the son. “Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom. “I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son. “Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom. “Your right!” He replies. “I’ll go next,” says the dad. I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.” “Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son. “The lie isn’t that your adopted.” Says the dad.