History jokes
The greatest playwright in history found he couldn’t use lances. He could only use "Shake-spears."
Why did the Twin Towers fall?
They collapsed because of the heat.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
"There's one terrible pilot." -- President George W. Bush on September 11, 2001.
Ohh my god, it's a dinosaur with a huge ass mothafuckin' noseeee!!!!
me singing the declaration of independence
Why did they burn witches back in the day?
Because they were annoying feminists.
Guess what that is and it’s explosive. The end looks like <>
Hairline so big people had to time travel to find the end of it.
Who were the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They went through 95 stories in 10 seconds.
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.
AR-15: Who are you?
Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.
Q: What is the favorite song of the people who window dived out of the Twin Towers?
A: "Free Fallin'"
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
Q: Did you hear about the Twin Towers?
A: No, what happened?
Q: Apparently, the design was fundamentally floored!
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
Why is America so bad at Clash of Clans? Because we already lost two towers.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.