yo mama so fat Donald trump himself tried to use her as his border wall in 2016
This man has been through all kinda shit in his life. So one day, he finally looks at himself in the mirror and says, "If another person looks at me again, I'm going to kill myself." He looks at himself and no one ever heard from him again.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
I got sent to the principals office for telling the kid in the wheelchair to stand up for himself
My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.
I have more respect for cancer then depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied so I encouraged him to stand up for himself idk why he started crying
What would an orphan priest call himself?
Father Les.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find God he'll help you!" and than the man said “There’s only one way to get to God and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?”
why did hitler kill himself? because the air was gas
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Why did Hittle kill himself? Because he wanted to buy a car, but then Hittler farted.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
