Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?
To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
When Stephen Hawking died, he saw the stairway to Heaven.
He thought to himself, "Oh God, this is awkward!"
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk Over charge himself
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
This gay guy was so happy with his new boyfriend that he took him to his favorite gay bar.
An hour or so goes by, then the new flame says, "I just LOVE this place, everyone is so nice, food is great, but what's up with the monkey way down there?"
His friend says "OK, watch this." He goes up behind the chimp and smacked him in back of its head. The monkey jumped off the stool, pulls down his zipper, and gives him head. When finished, the chimp took a napkin, cleaned himself, pulled up his zipper, then jumped back to his chair.
He walked back to his new gay friend and said, "What do you think of that?"
"MAN, I seen some amazing things, but never like that!" His squeeze said, "Wanna give it a try?"
"I sure do, JUST DON'T hit me as hard as you hit that monkey."
Why did the skeleton go to the movies by himself?
He had no body to go with.
It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself
How were tire swings made?
A tire said, "Goodbye world," and hung himself.
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
Bigfoot is just a normal person who covered himself in Pritt Stick and went down on Susan Boyle.
How did the inkjet printer kill himself?
He drank cyan-ide.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes to the photographer, he shoots himself.
