Him jokes

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!

So my depressed friend wanted to high-five the tree by the cemetery.

The tree left him hanging though.

What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?

It left him hanging.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.

Yeah, that was the punchline.

I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home.

So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

Who is yourself, and why do people keep telling me to kill him?

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!

Me be like: ;-;

What happens when a depressed kid tries to give a tree a high five?

The tree leaves him hanging :)

Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?

His wheelchair always backs him up.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!