Him Jokes

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.

Today, a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid, so I told him, "Brayden, just get up and walk away."

I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).

You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."

I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

Ooohhh look, an orphan! Let's go beat him up.

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.

What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?

It left him hanging.

My therapist told me time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him.

Then I waited for the results.

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.

To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.

He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.